One of the fundamental tenets of sales I emphasize on this show is selling with integrity. So why would I suggest you learn what con artists already know? Because it’s the exact same technique everyone uses to grow their influence, whether they are a con artist, a trial attorney, a CIA operative or anyone else.
On this episode of Grow My Revenue influence coach and author Shari Alexander joins us to look at the fascinating topic of influence. She’s explored the what influence actually is, why influence isn’t inherently good or bad, and how to use the 3 step process she’s uncovered used by the most influential people in the world.
Listen to this episode and discover:
– Why do so many people shy away from building their influence?
– What is the hourglass theory of conversation?
– The role curiosity plays in establishing rapport and connection.
– Elicitation vs interrogation: what is the difference? Shari gives an example.
– Is there such a thing as too many questions?
When Shari began studying influence and communication she was fascinated to find that no matter who was wielding the influence, con artist or CIA operative or trial attorney, they were using the same patterns and strategy. She was even more astounded to realize how little leaders knew about this strategy, especially as compared to con artists.
The strategy she observed is a three step process she calls observe, connect and influence. Most of us, especially sales people, want to jump to the third step (influence) and learn all about it. You’ve probably heard someone say “I want to grow my influence”. And while that’s a healthy approach it falls short of the first two steps, and often leads to increased risk on the part of the influencer and the influencee.
On today’s episode Shari explains what each of these steps are and why they are necessary to the step after it, what we can learn from the long con game played by con artists, as well as the pivotal part curiosity plays in creating rapport, connection and, ultimately, influence.
The first step in influence is observation. You’re looking for certain things in the person you are wanting to influence, you observe certain ways you can connect with them and certain things you can talk about so you can move on to the next step: rapport.
The second step, rapport, is simply about building likability with the person you are influencing. You are finding ways for them to like you, and for you to like them. This is how and when you build trust: both of which are critical pieces that need to be present before you move into step three, influence.
The final step is influence. This step is where you actually make the ask. If you’ve done the other two steps effectively you often don’t need to know much about this step, but having a few techniques here will help.
The reality is all of us want to be seen, heard and appreciated, but very few of us are giving it. So when a con artist provides this to a mark it becomes addictive to the mark, and they’ll give anything to get another “hit”.
There’s so much valuable and insightful information shared on today’s episode of Grow My Revenue! Be sure to listen in to hear it all.